thought of the day

It's just sad that in my life, I cannot seem to bring together the people who are dearest in my heart. It's not only that, but conflicts seem to happen, worsening matters. I feel torn in between... sometimes, often, always. It makes me afraid, at times, depressed.

---

check out the rest of the Windows Live™. More than mail–Windows Live™ goes way beyond your inbox. More than messages

Starbucks Christmas Flavors

Every Christmas time, Starbucks brings out 3 new flavors for an exciting holiday season. This season, they came out with Dark Cherry Mocha, Toffee Nut Latte and Praline Mocha.

 

I just had Toffee Nut Latte Frap today. In my opinion, this is the best Christmas flavor this year especially since I love latte. The frap is good and sweet but not overpowering the taste of milk. I also love the bits of toffee sprinkled on the whipped cream. I've yet to try the hot Toffee Nut Latte but my friend told me it's better than the frap. Dark Cherry Mocha's good too. It's like Java Chip with the taste of cherry. It tastes like a kiss to me. Sounds weird? But I'll say it again, Dark Cherry Mocha tastes like a kiss.

 

Meanwhile, I do not like Praline Mocha. "Praline" is pronounced as /'pra-lin/. Praline is a mixture of crushed nuts and burnt sugar that is used in sweet dishes and chocolates (Cambridge Advance Learner's Dictionary). I don't know exactly what it is but to my taste, it's like eating plastic balloon to me. It even has the strong chemical smell of plastic balloon that it felt like I was drinking chemicals. When I tried it out, I was with 3 other friends. One liked it and the other two agreed with me. Check it out for yourself.

What's your favorite Starbucks coffee?

---

Enrich your blog with Windows Live Writer. Windows Live Writer

not yet reading Twilight

There’s this ‘Twilight’ thing going in the air.

It’s been weeks since I got a copy of the Twilight novel by Stephenie Meyer but I really didn’t get the hook in reading it. It’s not that I found the novel uninteresting or something like that… just that I’m not so keen on reading in the first person POV.

I liked writing in the 1st person POV when I started writing in sixth grade. I’m not sure why I don’t like that particular style anymore.

In any case, I’ll try my best to watch the movie first. If I like it, if I think it deserves the $70.6 million at the box-office and if would really be up to par with Harry Potter, maybe I’ll get to read to novel.

So far, nothing about Twilight is catching my interest. It’s about a vampire and a lady having pretty good chemistry. The reviews I’ve read so far didn’t tell me something more interesting than that. According to the AP, the $70.6 million is highly accredited to teenage girls, the way they also did with Hannah Montana (well yes, maybe Potter too). No offense to the teenage girls, but I’m not just the type who’d love a movie because I’m swooning for a dreamy love story or a good looking vampire on the run. But yes, I understand the psychology of the “prince charming” and the maiden.

More than that, I’m looking forward to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I expect that apart from the ending parts, the movie would be somehow draggish since the book was more of information and unraveling secrets. Maybe this would be better than the Order of the Phoenix since there would be lesser actions to cramp in a movie length. I’m still wishing that they would extend the movie to 2 hours or more to give justice to the book.

Am I being childish by preferring wizards and magic than vampires and love?




ps… I’m not finding Daniel Radcliffe cute or handsome as he grows older. I’m not liking his body built either so not going to catch me no matter how many time he poses nude. I don’t like his hair, but I like it in this picture ^^ (Oh and please, Pattinson's NOT cute.)

On California's Proposition 8

With the approval of gay marriages in California earlier this year and the election of Barrack Obama as President of the United States, I thought that the majority's view of the discriminated already changed a big deal. Now, with the approval of Proposition 8, I'm thinking twice.

California's Proposition 8 title was "Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry" which states that "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California." This proposition will amend the previous decision of the Supreme Court that allowed gay marriages. I can remember that there was so much rejoicing then but not now when 52.2% of those who said Yes on Prop 8 won against the 47.8% who said No.

Among the proponents of the Yes on Prop 8 were Republican presidential nominee and U.S Senator John McCain, Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, the Roman Catholic Church (of course),The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the Mormons) and Rick Warren, Pastor of Saddleback Church (author of The Purpose Driven Life). These influential personalities and institutions greatly affected the vote for 8 and personally, I think that institutions are just so hard to break (at least the decision proved it). Meanwhile, U.S president elect Barrack Obama, his VP Joseph Biden, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, The U.S House Speaker, a good number from the senate and jewish groups were among those who supported Proposition 8.

Indeed, it was disappointing news especially that aside from the prominent figures and institutions that supported Prop 8, 70% of the African-American vote said Yes on 8. It is quite ironic on how the African-Americans know how to be oppressed yet deny that freedom to be recognized under law to homosexuals. Not to be too bitter, but a huge deal of homosexuals also helped get Obama, the hope of African-Americans, to his position. Yet, no help from them. It's no surprise that the minority will be on the same spot as they are when they themselves do not help each other.

In addition, I sense that the Church is quite afraid to change and reconsider traditions. I can say that the Church is the most traditional (and could be quite literal no matter how figurative and literary the Bible could be) institution. True, battle with the Holy Book is long and exhausting; sometimes pointless... whoever won with a battle with God?

I thought the first commandment is, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and Love your neighbor as you love yourself." Now, which of these was broken by homosexuality. It's just that Christianity has all these fuss on rules and laws yet when you begin to think about it, all those laws should only fall on those two major points and that's it. Did you ever wonder why eating pork is okay these days and I reckon, it's because it just doesn't fit the commandments.

---

Enrich your blog with Windows Live Writer. Windows Live Writer

today

Today was a pretty good day especially that I didn't have much classes. I got 4 consecutive absent classes to start off in the evening so that was pretty cool. I loathe Wednesdays and I feel really tired but not today. ^_^

Actually, I should be writing an article about one children's story that was written by a prominent write/poet. Then I met one of my difficulties again on making introductions and structure for an essay so I ended up with nothing again. I'll have to try again tomorrow.

I like reading Sam Ronson's and Lindsay Lohan's blogs. ^_^V

---

Share your beautiful moments with Photo Gallery. Windows Live Photo Gallery

Death Came

Mama informed me that Tito Itong died last night. He was hit by a bus--that's all I know. Apart from my grandparents, he's the next of kin to die in the family. He's the first of the 10 siblings to die. He's still young. He's, I think, 4th in the family while my dad's third. They were quite close, my father and my tito.

We were never really close to our relatives but I could say that I do have this soft spot for Tito Itong. He took care of me and my brother when we were still very young. He also regularly came to our house whenever my dad's around so I saw him sometimes. He was a very gentle man. His face looked very kind, just like Papa. He almost looked like he doesn't know how to pull an angry face. He's also soft-spoken. I thought now that maybe being soft-spoken runs in the men of their family. I got that trait. I would always remember how he would kindly ask how we were doing whenever we see each other. He would sometimes comment how old or how tall we've become when he had once saw us as little children. He especially took care of my second brother.

I remember when my grandparents still lived in Caloocan, he attempted to drive a tricycle when he didn't know anything about it. He was with his wife. Not far from where he started, he crashed. They didn't get hurt though, he wasn't driving fast. I just found it funny.

I feel sad that he left 3 young children behind. His family's not well-off too and I'm quite surprised to find myself worried about their family. How could his wife carry the burden of taking care of the kids? Certainly, I don't want them to end ip like my other cousins who couldn't finish their education. His kids... I'm particularly fond of the little girl, April. She was so fond of me too that she like following me around before. The kid thought I was pretty and I gave her one of my stuffed toys. I imagine that she's crying a lot right now.

I don't like the idea of death. It's depressing. But it's real.

---

Share your beautiful moments with Photo Gallery. Windows Live Photo Gallery

SUNDAY

Went home on Sunday and as usual, ta-ta-ta. Nothing much except that I was badly commented on how I should be taking care of myself (e.g fixing my hair). Just hate it when other people blame others for the way I am because I feel like I don't have my own mind. I believe that I'm responsible for whatever's happening in my life and if I let others influence me, it's still going to be my own decision. I hate it when it seems that other people are controlling me.

Well good thing that I had a date that night. We were very full after dinner, we could barely stand. We went to Starbucks Podium to have coffee and surf but there was just utterly wrong with Podium's wi-fi that we couldn't connect to it. Meanwhile, Starbucks was out of 1 hour card for their wi-fi so we just went home. Sheri and I... we had a good time. We didn't do much but we're just happy being with each other. She liked my new hair cut and I was relieved by that. She even said I was cute ^_^ We went home at 10pm but I think we slept at around 1am.

That was the best thing about my weekend. After 2 and half years, still madly in love and hot for each other. I feel lucky and I do not wish it to end.

We were almost late for work in the morning. ^_^;

---

Chat online and in real-time with friends and family! Windows Live Messenger

cloud nine

Weekend was good though I didn't get to sleep as much as I wanted to. I need my 10 hours of sleep!!

Weekend started last Friday night when we ate at Banchetto.

Banchetto is like a "tiangge" of food. There are lots of food to choose from: rice meals, super size pizza, barbeque, shawarma, street food like cheese sticks, quail eggs, fishballs, isaw... and then there's california maki, pasta and sweets like cake, chocolate, cookies, etc. Just be sure to choose well because like in a tiangge, some food are more delicious than others. Beware also of the price because some are really afforable and could really give you your money's worth but some could just be a total rip-off (e.g that buko juice is really insane with P30/large cup whereas I could get it somewhere half the price with more flesh and sugar) The lasagna in rectangular aluminun containers is delicious.

So I went there with Sheri, Laven, Denise and Ruth. We didn't have much food but we had fun. Laven and Denise bought a 1.5L coke and it's not until Laven's curious impassing joke that Sheri and I realized that we had drinking containers with us (they had to use straws before that). Then came the ghost stories that were so creepy. I had to pretend that it was nothing to me while my knees were shaking wildly under the table. Ghost stories are terribly scary and yet we can't help but be curious of one story to another. We had to shake the creep off after the stories. Nobody wanted to go home at 3am since it's the time when ghosts really appear contrary to the traditonal 12 midnight.

We talked about some funny things and really annoying people after that. We talked about Gilbert and Ela who are just plain annoying by being over confident and too proud. Flaws can always be forgiven as long as you're willing to accept them and not act like you're much cooler than others. Puhlease!

Then there's this talk about annoying friends--- leeches, to be more accurate. We told our story and it was most amusing that night, that Laven cried in anger. She cried and it wasn't even her personal experience! She said she hadn't heard a friend who's leecher than our leech.

At dawn, we I treated the girls to a breakfast at Mcdo then we all had to go home at 6:30am. The sun was up and the ghosts in our heads vanished.

---

Chat online and in real-time with friends and family! Windows Live Messenger

I'm gonna kill that prick!

ArgH! I would strangle that brat if I could!!!!

Damnit, I couldn't handle a stubborn 7-year old in class who doesn't want to study at all. I don't understand why parents need to shove studying in their children's throats and completely ignore that their kids are already turning so green.

And I'm red with anger.

I couldn't help it! I was repeating this one item in the textbook and all I wanted him to do is to repeat. He wouldn't so I said, "Okay let's try letter B, I'm sick of letter A." What am I gonna do?! I wanted to talk with him about the stuff that he likes. I already told his mother that it's ok for us to talk about whatever but she insisted on the book.

I swear I'm going to kick that prat out of my class!!!!!!!!!

And yes, I'm self-pitying again because I couldn't handle a 7-year old when I know that others can and beautifully so. I thought that if it were others, they're the kid's favorite by now and the kid would be waiting for the phone to ring everyday saying "I want teacher!"

I'm not satisfied with myself. I don't think that I'm doing anything right in my life or in my career or anything. Mediocrity is depressing. I want my coffeeeee!!!!!! Damn it, my mind is racing like hell again.

I wanna play my game again so when I get to the next level, I could say that I'm good. Who am I kidding?!

God, I'm hopeless.

---

Always-on security tools provide safer ways to connect and share anywhere. Find out more. Windows Live

reading Nora Roberts

Jewels of the Sun
Tears of the Moon
Heart of the Sea

I thought that romantic novels were kind of cheap and only mystifies the realities of love. All were cliche and nothing that I have never heard of. Predictable. Almost brainless as it's made to only pull at your heart strings, even tingle some hot blood.

I wouldn't say otherwise for the three novels of Nora Roberts, or even many of her novels as I have read them. However, before a fan shoots fire at me, I would like to add that she's a favorite author of mine. And I tell you, I don't know why.

The novels by Nora Roberts share a pattern, I can see them well. First, the images of the main characters are perfect--not perfectly perfect but perfectly imperfect as I think the author already knows the secret of the trade. Nevertheless, the god/goddes-like physical features are still there, as if the characters were brought down from the pedestals of Mt. Olympus. They could only make one wonder, "Where on earth could I find such creatures?" Downside is that Roberts had the tendency to create stereotypes in her novels. I think the men looked the same save for some features. It's like they have "protagonist" written on their foreheads.

Second, there seemed to be a pattern of the compatibility of the superior and the inferior. The guys rich, the girls in distress. The girls strong in character, the guys melt. It's almost ideal, almost predictable as I have already said.

On the other hand, what I appreciate about the novels are the plots. I specifically like the element of magic in the novels. Love is magic, so they say , I understand that. But magic was beautifully crafted in many of Roberts' novels that makes the figurative literal, tangible and descriptive. We think, "love is magic" but either is vague unless brought into a specific context.

That brings me to my second point which is language. I like the language. It's highly descriptive like it's going to come out of the page, at least for me. The characters and plot may be out of this world and a logical mind would say that they're unrealistic but Roberts' language makes them all seem true. I guess that's a skill that every writer should have else nothing.

Third, I like the local color. I like how Roberts' use places like Carolina, Montana, New York and of course, Ireland. I think I love Ireland now. Haha! I don't know exactly if the descriptions are accurate since I haven't been to Ireland but even before seeing, I believe. Does it make me an idiot? I think I can feel the breeze, see the sea and taste the Guiness on my lips. Maybe Ireland is really a magical country afterall. ^_^

Fourth, I also appreciate how Roberts tried to inject feminist values in the novels. I can see that. I remember one chance in "Heart of the Sea" where Brenna questioned Trevor on his choice of workers based on gender. Also, Roberts makes sure that the guys in the novels may appear god-like with riches and sculpted bodies but would sooner come out like an idiot in handling their women. I'd like to quote from somewhere,"Men control the world, women control the men." Somewhere in the middle, there would be a reversal of superior-inferior roles and that's where the deeper connection would come from. The style solidifies my own belief that women's so-called weaknesses are actually strengths that many women fail to manipulate to their advantage. bwahahaha!!!

Would there be no one who would make movies out of her novels?!

---

Always-on security tools provide safer ways to connect and share anywhere. Find out more. Windows Live

---

Make the most of what you can do on your PC and the Web, just the way you want. Windows Live

not worth of anything

I don’t feel well. I have cough and it really bugs me. Good thing that it’s not serious because I have the tendency to seemingly cough my lungs out. I really hate that. I feel tired now and I just want to have a long rest and sleep. I didn’t sleep much yesterday because I went with my family to pick Papa up from the airport.

I was happy to see him, though it didn’t show maybe. I didn’t even see him off when he went back to work last summer.

He bought a laptop for Gelo and I couldn’t help but feel only a bit envious. I thought, it could have been mine. I need it. I’m the writer after all, right? Oh well, I just thought, what could a black sheep like me expect?

We went to duty free and bought some groceries. Mama was very gracious and told me to get my own cart and haul some groceries. Deep in my heart, I was embarrassed. Of course I know that I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve anything that they give me. I don’t give anything to them in return, not even enough love and care at the very least. I want to. God knows I want to. I just thought, if ever our planned business booms, I’ll be the one giving to them.

I want more of Chef d' Angelo

It’s Monday! Oops, did I sound too happy when I said that? Haha! I really don’t think that Monday is a day to be happy about since it’s time for work again, less sleep, blah blah. Well, most people would know that.

I had a pretty good time last weekend. My girlfriend, two of her co-workers and I, went out after their company party. We ate at Chef d' Angelo at Robinson’s Galleria. Their pasta’s really great. It’s good especially when I’m craving for some pasta.

My favorite is their Oven-Baked Ziti. It’s really yummy with their white sauce and then red sauce around the middle. It also comes with 2 garlic breads and the serving size is for two. All their pasta serving sizes are for two, I guess, but I don’t share mine ^_^. Sheri got her Tuna Pesto. It could come as spicy or non-spicy. Libby really didn’t know what she’d get so we recommended the chef sampler. There are 3 chef samplers and what she got was the pizza-pasta-fried chicken combo. This sampler’s good for starters. The pasta comes in red sauce or white sauce, depending on your preference. The red sauce’s a little sour because of the tomatoes. Laven had an order of oven baked ziti too and cheesy fries. Cheesy fries is like home-made fries with dipping. Yummy! I would also recommend the 4-cheese deluxe pizza and the Big Wings chicken coated in BBQ sauce. For drinks, red iced tea has the right kind of sweetness for me and for desserts, they do have a variety of cakes. Cheesecake’s a good shot. I think Chef the Angelo is one of the good restaurants that gives the best value for your money.

Thing is, I broke my diet. T_T

On Sunday, I had a business meeting with my uncle. Everything went well and business will proceed, hopefully, will open next year. I really do have to work double time now. Plan well, think well, work hard!!!

So help me God.

i want that sushi!!

I was craving for sushi yesterday but I didn't buy some. I knew that I really liked it and I was pretty determined to eat sushi yesterday just before we left the house in the afternoon.

I was thinking of going to Dad's (Dad's eat-all-you-can, SM Megamall) and eat all the sushi and the delectable desserts that I want on Saturday. For just P450, I could eat all the delicious sushi and even get to eat lots of extras. I know in my heart that I would absolutely love that. My girlfriend didn't want to go there at first because she thought it was too expensive and worried that we might not be able to eat what our money's worth. I convinced her on it and then when she finally said yes, I was the one who's backing out on it. I thought that it would be expensive and then told myself that I shouldn't be eating all I want because I'm, in fact, on a diet. Dammit, dammit, dammit!


I hate this part of me that holds back on something that I really want to do. I'm always afraid to take a step to my goal. I knew that I want it but there would always be that part in my mind that would tell me about the restrictions,
limitations and conseqences of what I wanted to do. May it be eating my favorite food or buying the clothes that I want... it's difficult for me to do so. It's like I'm almost afraid to indulge myself into something, fearing that something bad may happen in return.

Maybe I don't like regrets. I don't want to tell myself that I wished I didn't do that. Still, it's not good. I KNOW it's not good! It's not helping me at all and I just end up sad and frustrated because I didn't grab the opportunity when it passed by me.

However, I guess it's different with some things. I wanted to learn Japanese and now, I have learned Hiragana, Katakana and abot 30 Kanji characters in about 2 weeks. I thought it was difficult but I was able to get to it. I wanted to go to Korea as an exchange student before and although I knew that there could be consequences, I took it.

Maybe I'm just sensitive with time and money... or even feelings. I'm afraid to waste those two irreplacable and hard to earn elements in life. I think I have to take care in how would I spend those elements, trying hard not to waste them in the process.

So for Christmas, I'm now debating on getting a PSP for myself, getting a refrigerator or spending the money on other people's presents.

???

looking back

I got my evaluation for regularization today after 6 months on probation.

I was really, really nervous when my AM supervisor told me to wait for the operations manager because he's going to discuss my evaluation. It felt like I wanted to go home right away. I was scared that I wouldn't get to be regularized.

When the manager talked to me, he gave me good feedback on my classes. He said that I handled my classes smoothly and that I was able to make good rapport with my students. He said I handle my classes with 'class'. Hehe... He also said that I'm so patient with my beginner students although he said I should learn more Korean expressions. I'm not really the teacher who likes using korean expressions as much as possible. We're learning English anyway. And besides, I'm not very good with pronunciation so I wouldn't want to add that to the confusion.

So that went well and of course, he gave me some recommendations on points that I can still improve. For the korean management part, it was ok since I didn't have any complaints from my students for the past 6 months. I', actually quite happy about that since I heard other teachers get complaints about all sorts of stuff from student refunds (which would be a big minus on the evaluation) to pronunciation and diary checking. I guess I was lucky with my students! It really pays to build rapport with students and treat them as kindly and friendly as possible--though I still couldn't get to Sheri's level. I still cannot erase the thin wall between others and me. Distant, calculating, safe.

Still, I got 1 month extension on my probation contract. Not bad, I can do it in a month since time just passes by so quickly. Good thing that I'm expecting to be a regular employee by November so I could get the 3-day leave on December for my parent's anniversary.

***

I saw one of my elementary-highschool batchmate at the lobby of our building today. She's Cathleen Aquino, or Cate. I was pretty suprised to see her and I think she was surprised too. I could see in her eyes that she wasn't able to recognize me instantly, maybe because of my short hair and glasses now compared before that I had long hair and quite a very shy appearance. She was in hot pink. She just told me that she was working in the building too. She told me the name of her company but I didn't quite quite catch since I was also in a hurry.

I've been seeing old aquaintances. A week ago, I saw my Chemistry teacher and sat beside her in a bus. She's now working in a call center company, probably because she needed more money now than before. Call centers could really lure people away from their career. ^_^V
Thinking about it, I think I miss my old friends and acquaintances not only from elementary and highschool but also from college. I got a few good friends but I haven't been able to make contact with them. I guess I have been very busy.

And to think, I told myself before that there's no such thing as being "too busy". And then I was trapped. What a shame...

I want to go out with them sometime. And I still owe Dyan, my closest friend in highschool, a secret.

so good to think about it

Lets101 - Free Online Dating

Alright, I could say that I actually smiled when I read this. You know what I love about these kinds of tests and fun what-nots is that they just boost my esteem--not that they're not true! See the description in all caps? Yeah!!! haha ^_^V

digging in the well of my soul

I feel that it's Friday today. My students are having their holiday tomorrow because of the Korean foundation day but we still have our classes =( I hope that it's a holiday for us too!!

This morning, I got my girl's health certificate from the city hall. There was required health seminar so I went there at 9 to take it. Of course I wasn't the one who should take it, but my girl's shift ends at 10 and then it would be too late. We still needed to sleep. Despite me as proxy (of course they didn't know that), everything went well. I was a little bit nervous when I went there because I was a little worried that I might get caught. In addition, I lost the receipt as proof that I already paid for the seminar. So everything ended at around 10:30 and my girlfriend treated me to pizza and ice cream ^_^

I started to learn the japanese Hiragana today!! Really, I want to learn something again. I wondered for a moment why wouldn't I just continue learning Korean since I already know the basics but then again I thought that I have always wanted to learn Nihonggo since I was a freshman in highschool!

Truly, I'm going back to my fascination in manga and anime. Now, I'm beginning to like Japanese drama too. I thought I should go back to where I first got my inspiration to write. The japanese ideals really attracts me and just how they are able to give symbolisms to human experience. I find it heartwarming that despite the fact that Japan is a technologically advanced country, they are very much in touch with their emotions. In addition, history tells us that the Japanese were devastatingly cruel during the world war II. People from the countries that were victims of the war are still holding some grudge, if not a lot, because of the thousands of deaths and abuse before. In spite of this, Japanese ideals as portrayed in their manga and drama are giving importance to human relationships, friendship, compassion and belief in the ideals that people may tend to forget because of anger, revenge and loneliness brought about by past experiences and/or trauma.

As for me, I believe in those ideals too. I hate the forgetfulness of the more important things in life. I hate how money seems to blind people into believing that it could replace true relationships; how work consumes most of the day without barely a time to look at the stars; how we sometimes lose our confidence in ourselves trust in those around us.

I am being my idealistic self again.
Is that so bad?

lost tears lost

Such a gloomy day.

Bad news we received today. One of my girlfriend's co-teacher's only child last night died when he drowned while playing in a creek. They say it was about 5pm when the 9 year-old child was reported lost. The mother, my girlfriend's co-teacher, was at work for the pm shift at 2-11pm. It was about 9pm when she received a text message that her son was lost. She went home immediately. Racked with nervousness and fear that something more than just being 'lost' happened, she took a cab when she normally wouldn't.

But death doesn't wait. She arrived and found her son dead. Her one and only son is dead.

Times like this can make you question fate and even God. Such a thing makes you think that life is just unfair for taking away such a precious one without a warning and without even a chance to say goodbye.When I think about my love ones leaving me like that, I feel scared. It shakes me and it could make me cry-- just the mere thought of it! I think I would just crumble if it would really happen. I haven't experienced a death of a love one and I'm afraid that when it happens, I wouldn't know what to do. I could cry forever.

Today, the rain pours incessantly outside. The sky looked like it wouldn't shine for quite some time.

crossing my fingers for luck

So here I am, making another blog for myself since I got tired of my old blog. I thought I should make a new start again, get some writing on my nerves everyday until I get the hang of it. I definitely should start writing and looking for my own voice, my muse and yes, even my own 'duende' as Kidlat Tahimik would call it. Cross your fingers for me. I hope I can keep this updated all the time since I'm always in front of the computer everyday except weekends.

I'm taking my mind off astronomical goals at this point. I am going to take a breather, start with small steps that would eventually bring me there to where I want to be. I usually have big goals and I really couldn't keep up. One thing at a time. Breathe in, breathe out. There.

I bought a citrine charm bracelet today from a cheap store. BEFORE buying it, I read that citrine charms is called the 'merchant's stone' and it is somewhat lucky in attracting money. Yeah, definitely need that right now. In addition, it also enhances positive thinking and self-esteem. AFTER buying, I read that we shouldn't buy charms from cheap stores because they may have bad vibes due to the many people who touch and try the charms on. They are also not blessed and empowered with feng shui energies.

Oh man, I do not know now. Luck, I really need it. Well I was brought up not to believe in luck but blessing. Then again, I'm a bit desperate nowadays so I thought a little push of luck wouldn't hurt, right? Wish me luck people! I need it, I need it! Let all the good luck of the people who touched my charm bracelet be unto me. Ya!

If this works, I'll definitely buy a charm from Charms and Crystals.